When I was married at the tender age of nineteen, I thought I knew all about marriage and raising a family. But it was my gentle mother-in-law, who patiently taught me the subtle art of becoming a woman.
She was fifty-five years old when I became part of her family. For nearly thirty-four years my husband and I have lived next door to his parents on the farm where his mother grew up. Most of our friends wondered how we survived living so close to each other, but for the most part it has been a very positive, rewarding experience for all of us. We share a unique relationship that few couples can understand in this modern, fast paced world of ours. There was no need for long distant traveling or telephone calls to keep in touch. Every day our lives intermingled as we shared our joys and struggles on the family farm.
After a long day of weeding or training berries, she’d invite her son and me in for supper. “I’ve got a pot roast going with carrots and spuds,” she’d say. “You guys can have some if you’d like.” Her words were music to my ears when we were so exhausted from outdoor work. Of course, we’d accept.. Afterwards she and I would clean up the dishes in her spacious country kitchen, and discuss how to cook a beef roast to keep it moist, or how to preserve carrots from the garden over winter by burying them in a bucket of wood shavings.
In the winter she’d show me how to dry walnuts and hazelnuts, make hearty soups and hang wet laundry around the wood stove. Well before spring arrived, I had learned how to start vegetable plants in trays by the windowsill, and root houseplants in a glass of water. Then on sunny spring days I discovered the satisfaction of hanging laundry on lines outdoors in the breeze, and how to beat dusty rugs against tree trunks. In the late summer and fall, I’d help her with canning fruits and vegetables. She taught me how to scald tomatoes and peaches so the skins would magically slip off. I learned how to listen to the steam releasing from the pressure cooker, so I’d know just the right moment to shut off the air vent and let the pressure build.
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